The Growth Curve
Everyone talks about the “learning curve” that takes place in a business but no one really talks about the “growth curve” that happens along the way.
I’ve been doing my candle business for 4 years and while I learned how to run it, what to do with it, and building relationships, I never realized exactly how much I’ve grown personally and professionally with it. That is, until yesterday when I glimpsed at what goes on at an AL-ANON meeting.
I went to visit a friend at a rehab place and as a visitor, I have to listen to an “education class” before seeing my friend for our visiting hour. This turned out to be an AL-ANON preview meeting. There were 3 advocates there to talk with us. The woman who spoke was clearly committed to her recovery and her advocacy to others because she was very upbeat and has a firm grip on how she wants to live her life. One of the men advocates was also very committed and even had a great sense of humor which I believe helped his recovery and has made the group he’s involved with a success.
The 1st man was terribly devastated over his son’s addiction as well as his own addiction. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room over his story and as a parent myself, I can understand how upset he was about his son. I would be too if it was my son. However, what I didn’t like was the fact that he brought the whole room down creating such a negative energy force and I felt myself being sucked in. This is NOT cool, especially when the visitors are in pain enough over their loved ones being in rehab. This is not to say that we shouldn’t be compassionate and feel empathy for the man, but he told his story without knowing whether we wanted to hear it or not. If I had known about this ahead of time, I would have made the choice not to hear it because I know the power that negativity can do to me especially in a group setting. If it was one-on-one and he was just talking to me, I could handle it better than trying to handle a group of people around me creating that energy force.
What made it worse was that he didn’t say what else he was doing to grow stronger on his road to recovery besides going to AL-ANON 2 days a week. Clearly, this is not enough for him and he needs more. Now, maybe he just started his road to recovery so the devastation is new and deep, I can understand that. He has to start somewhere right? The ironic part is that the 3 advocates said that whatever was said in the room, should be held in strict confidence as it was told in confidence. But…..this is what they do, they go around from place to place telling their story!! Is it me or am I misunderstanding this concept?
Now, back to my point of this post. The advocates asked us to introduce ourselves and express what we were feeling. We had a choice to share a story or not, otherwise just stating our name was fine. When it got to be my turn, all I said was, “My name is Mary and I’ve been involved with a lot of mentoring programs and if you get me started, I won’t shut up. LOL. All I’m going to say is this, we all have a choice, we can make it good day or we can make it a bad day, either way it’s our choice. And I’m going to stop there.” J
I actually wanted to get up and speak about what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown because I chose to see things in a positive light and not drag others down with me when I do find myself in bad “spot”. I wanted to dissipate the negativity that was enveloping the room and suffocating us. Yes, it was that bad because there were about 60-70 people in the room, THAT is a lot of unnecessary negative energy being created.
On a positive note, I’m very grateful that the 2nd man with a sense of humor did a wonderful job sharing his story in a way that we were laughing and the energy changed from heaviness to a light one making it easier to breathe and conducive to listening. :-)
This is when I realized that I’ve changed so much from the person I used to be to the person I am now and I’m very proud of who I’ve become. That, my friends, is why I love my candle business so much. It brought out the best in me that I had buried somewhere because of the belief system and choices I was making in my life. :-)
I’ve been doing my candle business for 4 years and while I learned how to run it, what to do with it, and building relationships, I never realized exactly how much I’ve grown personally and professionally with it. That is, until yesterday when I glimpsed at what goes on at an AL-ANON meeting.
I went to visit a friend at a rehab place and as a visitor, I have to listen to an “education class” before seeing my friend for our visiting hour. This turned out to be an AL-ANON preview meeting. There were 3 advocates there to talk with us. The woman who spoke was clearly committed to her recovery and her advocacy to others because she was very upbeat and has a firm grip on how she wants to live her life. One of the men advocates was also very committed and even had a great sense of humor which I believe helped his recovery and has made the group he’s involved with a success.
The 1st man was terribly devastated over his son’s addiction as well as his own addiction. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room over his story and as a parent myself, I can understand how upset he was about his son. I would be too if it was my son. However, what I didn’t like was the fact that he brought the whole room down creating such a negative energy force and I felt myself being sucked in. This is NOT cool, especially when the visitors are in pain enough over their loved ones being in rehab. This is not to say that we shouldn’t be compassionate and feel empathy for the man, but he told his story without knowing whether we wanted to hear it or not. If I had known about this ahead of time, I would have made the choice not to hear it because I know the power that negativity can do to me especially in a group setting. If it was one-on-one and he was just talking to me, I could handle it better than trying to handle a group of people around me creating that energy force.
What made it worse was that he didn’t say what else he was doing to grow stronger on his road to recovery besides going to AL-ANON 2 days a week. Clearly, this is not enough for him and he needs more. Now, maybe he just started his road to recovery so the devastation is new and deep, I can understand that. He has to start somewhere right? The ironic part is that the 3 advocates said that whatever was said in the room, should be held in strict confidence as it was told in confidence. But…..this is what they do, they go around from place to place telling their story!! Is it me or am I misunderstanding this concept?
Now, back to my point of this post. The advocates asked us to introduce ourselves and express what we were feeling. We had a choice to share a story or not, otherwise just stating our name was fine. When it got to be my turn, all I said was, “My name is Mary and I’ve been involved with a lot of mentoring programs and if you get me started, I won’t shut up. LOL. All I’m going to say is this, we all have a choice, we can make it good day or we can make it a bad day, either way it’s our choice. And I’m going to stop there.” J
I actually wanted to get up and speak about what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown because I chose to see things in a positive light and not drag others down with me when I do find myself in bad “spot”. I wanted to dissipate the negativity that was enveloping the room and suffocating us. Yes, it was that bad because there were about 60-70 people in the room, THAT is a lot of unnecessary negative energy being created.
On a positive note, I’m very grateful that the 2nd man with a sense of humor did a wonderful job sharing his story in a way that we were laughing and the energy changed from heaviness to a light one making it easier to breathe and conducive to listening. :-)
This is when I realized that I’ve changed so much from the person I used to be to the person I am now and I’m very proud of who I’ve become. That, my friends, is why I love my candle business so much. It brought out the best in me that I had buried somewhere because of the belief system and choices I was making in my life. :-)
posted by Mary Leedy @ 1:26 PM
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